Small talk can be desultory and perfunctory and irritating. A thing that humans employ as a way to ease social friction often creates stressful anticipation and anger.
“Do I have a topic for small talk? What do I say when somebody Talks Small at me? What if they are offended by my Small Talkings? What if their talk is large and offending to me,” and so on.
The one thing that can bury these jagged concerns and make everything soft and smooth is a nice snowstorm, or the forecast of one. Before the Winter Storm Watch or the Winter Storm Warning, you get to have a 100 percent chance of accumulating Snow Talk. Snow Talk, a refinement of Weather Talk (not a subset), is the one-bladed Swiss Army Knife of Small Talk. You can take any position!
When is the snow? Who cares when it snows? Can you believe this snow, or right before? I hate snow! Do you remember snow? I love snow! Have you been to the grocery store for your snow groceries? Wow, was the grocery store crazy with people buying snow groceries! We could be talking about way more unpleasant things than teensy little crystals falling from the sky! We’ll miss this in August, the snow and the coolness required! I love the teevee weather reports about snow, a break from the murders! I hate the stupid teevee reporters standing around in the snow or before the snow or after the snow or during the snow! I have never seen such snow! Where I’m from it snows in June! I hate Small Talk About snow!
