We don’t have matching cutlery in the house, it’s not a priority, but every once in a while I end up with this one and I get angry.
Look at it, the manufacturer’s stamp is ONEIDA, which is a classy maker of flatware, but the goddamn tines are only two-thirds the length of the business end! The other part is what, a spoon, a shelf to put extra food on? Look how wide it is, and what the hell are those little circle-holes? Annoying! I can’t put this thing in my mouth.
Still, it’s a fork, it functions properly! I can’t just chuck it in the garbage, do a Marie Kondo on it in my tidying adventure, thanking it for its service and the joy it has brought me, because it does not bring me joy! I hate this fucking fork! Maybe I can put it in the recycling. I gotta ask my wife first, she might like the damn thing. Look at all the time and energy I am wasting because of this fucking fork. I hate it.
UPDATE: The Bride just texted me.
The fork stays.